living the different kind of life

August 28, 2008

“The process by which we let go of our hopes to make a difference for God and settle for making a living is subtle and gradual. In our late teens and early twenties, we promise ourselves we’ll defy the rat race, but like lint to a hairball, we get snagged. First we get sidetracked from mission as we pay off school debt. Next we postpone our ideals to squeeze in a little fin time before we get serious/ Then we opt for good money (no one ever works for bad money) to prepare for marriage partner and family. Before we realize it, two decades have passed, and our best intentions to serve the Lord in mission have funneled down the drain of midlife, leaving a bathtub ring of unmet expectations. Or worse, we don’t even notice the change that has slowly eclipsed our original dreams as we grow accustomed to a life of second thoughts. What is left is a house, or houses, full of good things, and a vague suspicion that, in the words of poet William Stafford, “we have followed the wrong god home.”

This is from page 38-39 of sub-merge by John B. Hayes. I just bought it at a book sale, and been reading it the past few minutes. Actually I just started, but I know he talks about people moving into the poorest communities, living there to make a difference. What he describe is me and my friends. This is the things we said to each other back at university. And now we are at the moment in our lives where we must determine whether which road we are going to take. I look around, and see how some of us have already started down the consumerist line, and wonder whether I’ll be able to live a life that don’t give in…

I guess for me personally this is one of my current life struggles. Figuring out how I’m going to do this. Not thinking about it will end up in just doing what everyone is doing. I believe you need to intentionally seek the deeper life…


One Response to “living the different kind of life”

  1. Tom Smith Says:

    Thanks for your honesty here. I’m realizing more and more that any downward journey is lonely but not without companions. This kind of life with its decisions have to be undertaken within a community heading in the same general direction. I would love to hear more of your thoughts on this topic.

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